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Post by jooooooanna on May 17, 2008 2:37:26 GMT 8
I've always been very interested in issues relating to relationships. One thing that God is teaching me now is the virtue of Patience. I never saw how Patience can be applied in relationships and it just change my whole perspective of what it means to be in a relationship.
When i was a teen, to me it was the emotions that matter. Nothing else. Simply put if i like the guy and he likes me, GOOD NEWS! Let's get together then. It din occur to me things like praying about it or seeking God for an answer. But when i came out of a relationship and started to read up on books that addressed about relationship and also about how God spoke to me in my circumstances, I came to learn that it's not a matter of emotions anymore but rather obedience to God's will.
If God's will is that I should not date in this period of my time now I gotta be obedient and not do so even if I'm madly in love with someone. But it is not as easy as it seems. And that's when patience comes in. The patience to wait for the season that God thinks is appropriate for us to date and to wait for the person that God has meant for us despite our passions and desires. But i think i can just visualize how wonderful it'll be when the wait is over and you truly can embrace the one that He has meant for you.
In my wait for what God has meant for me, i struggled emotionally and wrestled a lot with God. I doubted what He had for me and at times i really wish things would have gone my way and i could just go ahead with what i feel and ignore what God wants in my life. But it seems that through these experiences i have in this season of waiting, God was building me up in my character and faith. It's amazing how He uses our circumstances in life to teach us. I'm still learning to be patient and walk in obedience and self-control.
Song of Solomon 2:7 "Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases"
Is it truly worth the wait?
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Post by Timothy on May 17, 2008 13:48:14 GMT 8
well it depends. lets say if u have complete trust in God that He alrdy has someone for u then wait. the chosen one by Him will maybe be our lifelong partner or something, but u see if that person's not the one, we would jus get hurt at the end of the day.
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Post by chrissss on May 18, 2008 21:28:13 GMT 8
this is when discerning places a very important part... to be sure that god wants you to wait... if its really his will... then as u said be obedient as a servant of God obedience to his words are important... but of course you have free will and God wouldn't be angry at you ... if you do it for the right reasons... but there must be a reason why god says no ... maybe he knows u cannot do it right he has got plans coming up for u very soon and its gonna be heavy especially if ur partner doesnt support u... or whateva it is ... i mean god will always want u to have the best... but if u are gonna settle for second best what can he do... so at the end to the day ur faith in God, and ur ability to discern with a truthful, unbiased heart....
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Post by Timothy on May 19, 2008 1:27:35 GMT 8
and u see when we settle for second best, we are not satisfied with wad we have and we might blame a God for it, like why are u giving me such a lousy wife and all. then this will lead to alot more things and yeah thus maybe even losing faith.
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Post by chrissss on May 19, 2008 12:41:41 GMT 8
well... every wife is lousy ... in their own way... if u get this one wife who is lousy emotionally and maybe u get another who is good emotionally but lousy in cooking... u'd be argh she so lousy ... no one can be perfect... only the love u give to her can be because the love comes from the same love ur give god and god gives u... my 2 cents worth b4 i do my tests...
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Post by eddinelious on May 19, 2008 14:40:14 GMT 8
i'd say in many ways thats just about as true as it gets.
whats not to be in ur map will never be.
and timmy no one is perfect. but if God's given you someone. I would know this is it. she is the one. and love is always about compromising and understanding, even if she suck if i truly love her i love her. and come on God wouldnt give u anything bad dont u just trust in Him?
well if all else fails maybe He has another path of life for you, one which u give up...welll i wont say it.
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Post by Timothy on May 19, 2008 20:29:38 GMT 8
i dint anything bout our wives being perfect read.
anyways, its like wad chris said, God will give us this gal that we can handle, not anyone too perfect and all. He will give us someone we can live with for the rest of our lives.
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Post by Ben on May 31, 2008 1:17:08 GMT 8
hmm i totally feel what jo is saying, namely because i had like two major girl problems right before my ns when i was still in jc. then i questioned god, it seemed like the timing that these girls came into the picture was perfect and unperfect. it was perfect for me but unperfect for God. the first was girl A, and so happened i wrote a seemingly harmless letter and the next thing i knew she was with another guy ( i wont provide details here), and the next one, girl B, my close friend liked her and so i backed off (again i wont provide the details). to me they came at the right timing, during jc, my so called taste of co-ed life and before i get sucked into the military, but somehow it all didnt work out for me. i felt like a miserable lonely sob lol, and faced depression. but thankfully there was excess to put me back onto my feet and god helped me to weather the storms. though sometimes i get tired of waiting, i just trust. and my philosophy is i wont really go after someone, cos i feel that way she might not have total feelings for me, what happens by chance or nature (or rather god) bears the most fruit. even if she isnt my lifelong partner i'm sure there would be something to learn from coming into contact with her.
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Post by Mandy Grace Leo on Jun 4, 2008 19:35:23 GMT 8
yeah true. patience.
"love is patient...it endures all things..."
for me, it was a couple of years ago. I just broke up with this guy, A, whom I was REALLY emotionally attached to, for quite a long period of time. To escape the pain, I got a "rebound" guy. A guy I had heard of asking any girl who said she was interested out and because we didn't really have feelings for each other, I wouldn't get too emotionally attached and when we broke up, I wouldn't be broken right? Wrong. I ended up becoming attached to him as well and it just made things worse when things dragged on and we finally broke off. If I had been more patient and bore the pain patiently, waiting for God to heal, I could have escaped even more pain.
I don't regret it but I do wish I had done it different'y. It has become a part of my experience and a great lesson impressed on me.And i agree with Ben. What happens with God bears the most fruit. yesterdays session, Ed did!
For me, I still think that friends first is the best policy. I mean, if you can't even learn to be a friend first, how can you expect to give in a relationship, which requires so much more? And chances that if you meet a person first AS a friend, without thinking of him/her as more than that, it is easier to get an unbiased or objective view of the person, without your feelings distorting that.
I think that most happily married couples do start out friends. My parents did, for example. My dad was in the seminary at that time. It is worth the wait -we are worth the wait. A lifetime with someone... that waiting time before chooses to teach us many things about our partner.
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